How He does cause one to tremble at the mention of His name… It was at one point in life after many days and many hours on my knees, with frustration for the emptiness I felt, that while closed inside my prayer closet, I asked the Lord why it was that I should come again and again to this place in hopeful expectation of my time with Him yet never receive an answer or even so much as a greatly needed reply. Why could I not sense Him and know that He was as real as my own flesh and why should I not hear His voice respond to me like a friend who comforts a friend?
“Doesn’t His Word say that I am His friend?” I mulled.
And suddenly a presence stepped into the room just beyond my closet doors. It caused me to shudder.
And, instantly I heard a voice ask the question, “Can you accept Him if He appears before you now?”
My body grew weak. I knew I need only open up the door to see His face now. I found myself simultaneously reaching for the knob while stepping backwards instead. It was my choice, but how could I — somehow, I couldn’t. I sensed in that moment that He would surely step through causing me to catch a glimpse of His magnificence. He indeed could cause me to see, in one moment, in this instance here and now, all that is hidden… I would see how true it was that He is always near, He stays as close as my words! Panic shot through me forcing my eyes to fiercely shut as I turning rapidly to my knees and instinctively fell on my face. He was now standing where I knelt. I caught a glance of His beautiful feet. Shaking with an inexplicable fear that caused me to tremble, I buried my face deep inside my arms while digging my fingers into carpet fibers in an attempt to cling onto the ground.
“No, No I cannot. I cannot lift my eyes to see! I am not worthy… I am so sorry.” I wept.
It was all I could do to clench my chest in hand, I thought my heart would stop. And through my panting sobs His steps withdrew… After a short period, after retrieving my breath and once calm again, I understood how great and powerful is His glorious presence. Realizing just how fragile the human heart within us is, so weak a body that we wear, I was deeply grateful to learn that day why it is we have been given the gift of prayer as the means by which we communicate with the Almighty. ~.~
Since that day, somehow, I am more aware of His presence. I know that it is always accessible. And, with each new encounter, I learn of His demonstrative affections. I revel in experiencing His manifest beauty. It causes me to wonder, longing all the more to know Him more intimately. So that now I listen. I hear the rushing sound of His outward expressions and listen all the more intently for His still small voice. I hear His instructions, He is always speaking.
Now as He comes to love on me with every visit even nearer still, each time it causes me to tremble. He floods my soul with rushing power from the Comforter and my shaking no longer ignites from fear, but from the awesome wonderment of the Glory of His touch. I love His kisses. His river washes over me with waves of glorious revelation. Wave after wave, it captivates my spirit and arrests my flesh. I am captured. A captive of His Love, He is more real to me than my life. ♥