An insatiable sickness was demanding an accounting of my faith; my delays had only brought me to death’s door. Now, of necessity, I forced an answer to the critical question echoing throughout my life. “Was Jesus Christ the son of God come to save humanity?” Out loud, with tear-filled eyes, I whispered the words, “Yes, I believe.”
True sincerity would require a wholly committed embrace of His deity; belief in His written Word would be my proof…
I now know that it was not my own faith, but His measure given to me by Grace, that caused me to believe in the son God and His sacrifice. Finally, and for the first time, a broken ego and humble heart began to search the scriptures. It was by the teaching of His Holy Spirit that my spirit began to be opened to His supernatural power which had always been at work within me … I learned to chase after His promises…
With time, through faith-filled seeking and a habit of meditation and praise I had developed in my prayer closet, I became familiar with the transforming presence of a God who loves us with an everlasting love. Through holy and pure surrender in a safe environment wholly focused on Jesus, my spirit awoke, becoming aware of His touch; so weighty and precious is His tangible presence. Such encounters opened up the way for sovereign guidance leading toward like-minded believers. Here is where I learned of God’s faithfulness. I learned that Jesus always meets us at an open door of praise and worship. He meets us and then brings us gently into a spirit-filled, charismatic experience. As in any relationship, one becomes familiar with the meeting place. Its surroundings become etched into the subconscious allowing for the next interaction to become more readily available. I enter into this secret place immediately now. I recognize the call, I sense when the veil is lifted. I know the door to this same glorious atmosphere can be accessed at any moment wherever it may be…. My experience in my private encounters with the Holy Spirit prepare me to receive even greater measures of the Father’s love. It fills me up and pours out His love and purposes for my life. Through complete surrender in unabashed worship I seek after my King Jesus Christ who grants total healing. In this way I am in constant pursuit, determined to keep Him near.
This type of walk with my Lord and Savior causes me to hear a still small voice from within that shows me Christ; in people and places, in conversation and song, within a glance He is now effortlessly known. In the same way, whenever Holy Spirit retreats into silence, this is known. I sense His movement to the background of my focus; whether in dark circumstances or simply at moments I fail to show love, I feel His retreat. A welling inside brings tears too easily and the immediate sense of grieving aches within me. Yet, no matter the circumstance, His mercy pours out. His power unmatched; His Love is released. We need only stay filled. I’ve learned that His Word does not return void and His will is always done at the mention of His name.
His name is Jesus. He is Christ, my Lord; my all-powerful Savior. All I purpose to know is my God. All I wish to seek is His presence. Ten thousand prayers and a lifetime’s pursuit has shown me the entrance to His throne room of Grace where I’m readily ushered in, where my desire to know Him intimately intensifies.
It has been 18 years now since I found my my healing through worship. My gratitude and love toward Him is unending, ever-increasing. The memory of His warm healing wind has not faded. I long to step into the rushing waves of His glorious kiss. My sustained health continually reminds me of just how real is our Savior. He cares for us with an unconditional, immeasurable, undying Love. ❤ ~.~