Tag Archives: Jesus Christ

On my journey…

I can remember having conversations about God, contemplating what was real and what might only be imagination. I would grab hold of a willing participant and start to ramble on with opinions and experiences; delving deeper into the possibilities of another place and time when these speculations might be made known… There was always a peace that would fill me when I began to speak of spiritual things; a time of His return, of an eternity with my heavenly Father, of His son, and the Holy Spirit. Any aggravations of present immediately shrunk into some distant scene while pictures of my possible future came forth becoming my hearts only focus. Those conversations sparked my passion for God. They taught me of love and peace, and how to wait patiently for God’s will. I learned that His way is always better, and blessings always come; at times subtly hidden within a moment, while on other occasions, shockingly poured upon your day so there is no denying the One unleashing them.

Although, I still can’t know as I’m known, my journey continues to teach me. Through unions and separations, births and deaths, sickness and heartache, I’m learning. One beauty, too difficult to fully comprehend, came within a time in my life when all of these rushed full force over me in unison, crushing me into functioning with what I would describe as an outward farce masking over an inward depravity —I functioned for years in that state. It granted me a death sentence and left me with a disease-ridden body and then robbed me of my house and home (literally). I say beauty because what I learned through those experiences has given me the tools to now work out my salvation with awesome reverence and power! It taught me priceless truths that can never be taken away. Most importantly, it taught me that the spirit world far outweighs the physical. I learned how the Spirit of God does indeed quicken our mortal bodies; and with each infilling –in every moment yielded to Him, be it in prayer or praise, with meditation or worship, every sacrifice of time given to God as an offering– where His Holy Spirit is released to interact with my flesh– there comes a healing. In those moments relinquished to Jesus, His voice can be heard. In doing so, we are ever being changed by His instructions; for they speak of forgivenesses and peace-making. He recalls for you the areas that must be reconciled in order for stresses to be released. There must be confessions and apologies, trust and faith, and then more forgiveness. In this way the Holy Spirit flows freely and we abide continually in Christ’s quickening where divine healing flows.

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My healing came; again and again it comes. I have been made whole and I am kept whole, changed from glory to glory by my communion with my Father. What I have learned on this journey is more valuable than any material thing on this earth; more valuable than any amount of finances or possessions that can be heaped up. What I’ve learned has brought me a treasured and constant contentment that fills me as long as He fills me. It is a priceless contentment, and Our walk together has become profoundly intimate; so much so that He begins to show me myself beyond this life…
One can have their purpose opened up to them; a purpose that has it’s beginning here, but most definitely will play out into eternity. And so, I wait patiently (like a laborer waiting for his wages, always watching for the result of God in my circumstances) knowing that His daily purposes come -like waves rolling onto shore, they come, without fail, they come…

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I hear the sound…

Spirit Break Out

How He does cause one to tremble at the mention of His name… It was at one point in life after many days and many hours on my knees, with frustration for the emptiness I felt, that while in my prayer closet I asked the Lord why it was that I should come again and again to this place in hopeful expectation of my time with Him, yet never receive an answer or even so much as a greatly needed reply. Why could I not sense Him and know that He was as real as my own flesh and why should I not hear His voice respond to me like a friend who comforts a friend?

“Doesn’t His Word say that I am His friend?” I mulled.

And suddenly a presence stepped into the room just beyond my closet doors.

And, instantly I heard my mind ask its question, “Can you accept Him if He appears before you now?”

I knew I need only step through the door to see Him. I found myself simultaneously reaching for the knob while stepping backwards instead. It was my choice, but how could I — somehow, I couldn’t. I felt in that moment He would surely step through causing me to catch a glimpse of His magnificence. He could indeed cause me to see, in one moment, in this instance, all that is hidden… I would see how true it was that He is always near, He stays as close as my words! I shut my eyes fiercely, turning rapidly to my knees. He was now standing where I knelt. With an inexplicable fear that caused me to tremble, I buried my face deep inside my arms clinging to the ground.

“No, No I cannot. I cannot lift my eyes to see! I am not worthy… I am so sorry.” I wept.

I clenched my chest in hand and thought my heart would stop. And through my panting sobs His steps withdrew… Retrieving my breath, once calm again, I understood how great and powerful is His glorious presence. Realizing just how fragile is the human heart within so weak a body, I was grateful to learn why it is we have been given the gift of prayer as the means by which we communicate with the Almighty. ~.~

Since that day, somehow, I am more aware of His presence. I know that it is always accessible. And, with each new experience, I learn of His demonstrative affections. I revel in experiencing His manifest beauty. It causes me to wonder, longing all the more to know Him more intimately. So that now I listen. I hear the arriving sound of His outward expressions and listen all the more intently for His still small voice. I hear His voice, He is always speaking.

Now as He comes with every visit even nearer still, each time it causes me to tremble. He floods my soul with rushing power from the Comforter and my shaking no longer ignites from fear, but from the awesome wonderment of the Glory of His touch. His river washes over me with wave after wave. It captivates my spirit and arrests my flesh. I am captured. A captive of His Love, He is more real to me than my life. ♥

 

His Love ♥

How do I? How can I? I need to know…

All of my life, I’ve searched for You, Lord. My heart’s desire has been to know You. My constant striving to please You, always hoping that my ‘doing’ might cause You to take notice. I supposed that You might move on my behalf; that you would possibly extend your hand of favor… –and favor has come, blessings and favor and constant provision. But, now I see that it was not because of my efforts, but because of Your Love. It has never come because of my selfish endeavors. But, when circumstance and struggle brought me to complete surrender, my selfishness ended and Your Mercy overflowed…
 It was not for Your sake that spiritual laws have been set. I’ve finally learned that it was for my own sake that there was a longing placed inside of me to know You — and my eyes were set upon a book — a book that is summed up in one word — Love. You are Love. It is only inside of complete and unconditional Love that we find our answers. And, the benefit of our search is not for You, but for each of us. In and through Love, we find pure Praise and true Worship flows. It is only out of the purest Praise and Worship that we begin to see Truth.

Forever mankind has grappled with the question, “Why?” Now I see that all of life’s answers can be found, not in the question “why?” but, in the search for “how?” 
How can I see You? 
How can I find You? 
How do I seek You?
How can I know You?

In this question, eternity begins to open up to us, and it becomes more real than anything in this temporary life… —-and our answers are hidden inside of our Worship. They come through our complete surrender. This is where our carnal mind quiets in the background and our natural state begins to transform; our perceptions begin to change and our spirit rises up to overtake and outperform the flesh—- Only then does the door into Your realm crack open. And, it pours out such a flood so magnificent we cannot help but to be overtaken by Your Love, Peace, Joy, Laughter, Praise, Healing, Wisdom, and Glory!!! …and it is intoxicating … and I am addicted. I am overwhelmed and undone by Your electrifying touch, Your pure Presence. I am run through by Your profound Peace, and now I see You. I have found You in my Worship. I have learned how to seek and know You, and I hear Your voice in the song.

~.~